Out in the Pen woods is a wonderful tree

   Whose branches sweep half to the ground.

Rocking chairs forming for you and for me

    While the green leaves screen us around.

And just underneath is the laziest stream

    Which mirrors the branches that sway.

We'll hear its soft flow as we talk and we dream

    And idle the hours away.

Let's go to the Pen woods! A whole afternoon,

    Foregetting all study and care.

Then wander back home by the light of the moon,

    With the plum blossoms scenting the air.

Come! Study no more; for surely you know

    What a wasting of time it would be,

When out in the Pen woods, where the violets grow,

    Are a stream and an old maple tree.

A spirit once appeared to me

    In the smoke of a rank cigar.

He was so pitiful to see

   "Now come", I said, "Hold up your head

    And tell me who you are!"

 

I am the ghost of one you knew

    Who bummed each cigarette.

From Aloysius Montague

    I've come to warn--O cease your scorn,

    And don't inhale me yet."

 

I'm doing penance for my crimes."

    "Then have a skag," said I.

Twill make it seem like happier times,

    You liked this brand, I understand."

    And he heaved a ghostly sigh.

 

From whence I come, each cigarette

    That's bummed is kept in store,

And listed down. 'Tis my regret

    There is no doubt--my life's about

    A couple of thousand score!"

 

For each small skag must be repaid,

    At a hundred bones per one;

Unloading sulphur with a spade,

    The work is slow, the wages low,

    A scant two cents a ton!"

 

What wonderful butts are those?"

    I sighed, "I s'pose you often try them."

And Aloysius M. replied:

    "That's just the Hell--I cannot tell,

    For only angels buy them."

   This sad bleary-eyed looking individual said to the secretary of the United Charities, "I want a job."

    "What can you do?"

    "Nothing." "Did you ever work before?"

    "No."

    "You don't want a job, you want to be a Lincoln policeman."

    And the next day he appeared in uniform.

Ernie

Freeman

Violet

Phil

Rosalind

Chuck

Gus Edward's All-Star Company in Musical Comedy