News: East Lynn (17 Mar 1911)

Contact: Dolores (Mohr) Kenyon

Email: dolores@wiclarkcountyhistory.org

Surnames: Kleinschmidt, Sternitzky, Rockwell, Pusheck, Guk, Zuehlke, Bladl, Neinas, Franke

----Source: The Granton News (Granton, Clark Co., WI.) March 17, 1911

East Lynn (17 March 1911)

Bad copy - Last Friday evening when Mr. and Mrs. Fred Kleinschmidt were sitting at a warm fireplace in their cozy home, they were aware that they had reached the twentieth mile stone of their married life and were talking over the past scruples and happiness when all of a sudden they were interrupted by howls and shrieks on the outside.  Their first thought was that the Japs had invaded this country, so they barricaded themselves and prepared to meet a terrible onslaught, but when Fred from his place of concealment cast his eye over that vast multitude of savages, he saw at a glance that resistance was useless and unbarred the door and the enemy at once took possession.  They planted their flag on the pantry table and received the surrender in true military style. At the hour of midnight refreshments were served that would have tickled the palate of a king and a few hours later the insurgents returned to their native land, but not to leave ruin and desolation in their wake, but a happy family where they will be welcome should they ever appear again.

H. D. bought an old harness at an auction sale last week and is thinking about hitching up his corn crib to do his spring’s work with.

As you are walking along life’s pathway should you have the misfortune to stumble over a stone, stop and examine it carefully.  If it is one of the common kind that this old mother earth is so abundantly supplied with, cast it from you and continue on your journey.  But beware should it be one with an oblong shape, take it in a fond embrace and lay it gently down in a bed of roses, but above all things do not take it with you unless you have the owner’s consent.  For if you do you will be ridiculed and condemned, your crime, be it ever so small will be found out and you will be called to a speedy account, for a stone that has been extricated 20 or 30 fathoms below the surface of the earth is very valuable.  If a person having some of this valuable stone in his possession would take 100 pounds of it and dissolve it in 12 gallons of buttermilk, (the latter may be had by carrying an extra can or two as he is taking his daily milk to a creamery) add 2 gallons of usefulness, 3 tea cups full of cheerfulness and 1½ pounds of good common sense, stir the whole mass together in an iron kettle, keep it in a warm corner and take 2 tablespoons full three times a day. If the above directions are carefully followed it will not only tone up the liver, but will bring health and happiness, peace on earth and good will to mankind.

When Albert Sternitzky asked his right hand, Ray Rockwell last week to distribute a few sap buckets in his sugar bush he said he did not hire out as a pack horse and left for parts unknown.

A Pusheck and family attended the birthday party of A. Sternitzky’s Sunday evening.

The Wm Guk and Fred Zuehlke families spent Sunday at C. Bladl’s.

Miss Emma Neinas is helping Mrs. R. Guk with her housework, the latter being somewhat under the weather.

Oscar Franke sawed wood for different parties at Chili last week.

Wonder if that Tom cat anchored on the back yard fence was looking for spring.