We didn't look exactly like a pirate ship, because we didn't carry bowie knives between our teeth.
   "Look out and we how that left hind tire is holding up."
   "All right. It's flat."
   After another beside-the-road seance with the accompanying efforts to follow the ups and downs of a one lung pump, we reasoned the thing out. The trouble all came from our trying to be too easy on the car. Like Hank Goetze on the home stretch, the things go better when they're tired. So we bot a couple at the next town, paid for them with a check on father, and increased our speed to twenty miles per. It proved to be per--haps. (Orpheum).
   "Say stranger, how far is it to Des Moines?"
   "About forty miles, I should say. Mebbe forty-one."
   "Thank you. They've been telling us the same thing for the last forty miles, so I guess it must he right."
   "A 'hot-dog' at a wayside inn; a vain attempt to keep the money out of sight; twenty cents apiece. Said something about paying for the pedigree, but we didn't stop to arbitrate.
   "Supper in Des Moines or Bust". We didn't run across any station by that last name, so we ate supper in Des Moines. You notice I say "dinner" and "supper" instead of "lunch" and "dinner". We left all that high society stuff at home.
   At two a. m. both moons were shining beautifully. Around a huge camp fire of green corn stalks and bedewed autumn leaves we sat patching tubes. On looking up we were fascinated to see the lights of a car approaching in the distance. The car drew up and stopped. Bob Harley was the contents, "Kudda be of any shervush (1 take it back, he said service) to you? No? So long?
   "Say Bob! Leave some of that five to three for us.
   Noon of the next day (or rather of the same day). Comfortable as possible aboard the Rock Island.
   "Do you suppose anybody will monkey with that car?"
   They won't take it very far without untying the front axle from around that fence post. No. She's there to stay 'til we come back."
   And after the game: "How are we going to get back?
   "Follow the crowd."
   "But I haven't got a sue."
   "Neither have they."
   "Where was all that five to three money they have been advertising?"
   "1 don't know. I gave them 10 points. It was the best I could get."
   "How bad did we beat them?"
   "Sixteen to seven."
   "Lessee, they play in Lincoln next year, don't they?"
   And three d --- --- --- fools bummed into the west.

A frosh there was and he made his prayer
          Even as you and I!
To a co-ed sweet, she was wondrous fair; She worked him for dinners and flowers rare. The frosh was a fool, for he played her square.
           Even as you and I!
Well, the fool got wise, but he played the game
           Even as you and I!
He fussed the co-ed just the same As he had before, when he thought the dame Was truly an angel in a human frame.
           Even as you and I!
So he told her he loved, gave her a ring!
           Even as you and 1!
A diamond of glass, a sparkling thing, She was ready to marry, she had had her fling, But the guy said "No, the bell must not ring!"
           Even as you and I!
We've all been frosh. We've all been played
           Yea, even you and I!
But we later grew wise to the ways of a maid
And those who didn't to the double life strayed
Now with us, who got wise, their lots they would trade.
           Nix, say you and I!
                                 Ka Gee.

   "She needs a new batt'ry!"
    "Aw, it's the carburetor: she isn't sucking like she ought to."
    For a few moments the air was blue as befits the air on a chilly November morning.
    Fifty-six minutes later, which was still considerable early, we were chugging thru the early fog of our drowsy metropolis.
    "And three d --- --- --- fools motored into the east."
    Our slogan: "Breakfast in Des Moines!"
    Somebody got off one about the weather resembling a Boston Lunch beefsteak,--raw. So was the joke, except that it was too true. The external application of many layers of sheep's clothing wasn't cool. That internal chill would stay with us still. But there being no still in sight, we were somewhat handicapped in the fight. This is not Walt Mason stuff. Besides, there's no meter in that last line But to go on: as spirits sank our spirits rose higher and higher. (Antidates mother-in-law line.)
    "How far is it to Iowa City, anyhow?"
    "Can't he over 125 miles. It's only an inch and a half en the map.
    "Well, how far's Des Moines?" Little over half an inch.'
    Breakfast overtook us at a little hashiteria about twenty miles east of the Bluffs. We would have been in Des Moines easily by this time if it hadn't been for those last two blowouts. But the breakfast was some blowout.
    Our slogan --"Dinner in Des Moines".
    All this time the money was under the seat. All we couldn't crowd in there hung in big sacks from the sides of the car. Funds of venturesome financiers from all over the state were there.
    "Do you think they'll give us five to three?"
    "All of it we want."
    And three d --- --- --- fools motored into the east.