Daily Nebraskan. Greatest boiler plate dispenser in the midwest. Is a good advertiser and useful as a "lost and found" medium. First three or four pages is generally devoted to editorializing, a couple of pages to forum, and the rest of it to news. Recently became decidedly sufragettic and in consequence has been conducting a vigorous campaign on cigarette smoking. Subsidized to B. S. Hill, the Cornhusker and Kosmet Klub.
    Director Student Activities. Chief exponent of the S. P. C. A. (Society for the Prevention of Comps to Applicants.) Duties: To attend all-university activities worth attending and secure jobs for the high moguls of Y. M. C. A., to keep the Daily Nebraskan from making too much money, etc., etc.
    Dean of Women. A personage instituted to see to it that mothers own girls do not work too hard or do to little. Determines whether skirts are too high or waists too low. Original computer of the correct interval between dancers. To be consulted in all matters of dates, engagements, and marriages. Advocate of pink teas and the art of carrying a Kensington gracefully.
    Kosmet Klub. Matrimonial agency, under the personal supervision of Father Scott. Flaunted before the innocent public as a dramatic society.
    Union. Same as above, except the stuff is not so choice. Has always figured prominently in barb politics. Example-.-J. C. Beard, editor-in-chief of Daily Nebraskan.
    P. B. K. Petrified Brotherhood of Krabs. The only justification of the ancient and amalgamated order of Grinds.
    Y. M. C. A. Club for the Bed Time boys. Duties are to kill joy. Conducting fraternity men's Bible classes, guard Freshmen from the snares and pitfalls of University. Only corner in townautos fight shy of, for broken glass.
    AC. A marking used by the department of English Literatures meaning Above Correction or Above Complaint.
    Ags. If you dent already know what cost the state $3,000,000 and the expenses of an extra election last fall, it's no use explaining. They are usually manly youths from the city preparing to go on the farm, or youthful men from the farm preparing to leave it.
    Awgwan. The wittiest, most clever bi-monthly, humorous paper published at Nebraska. Its jokes are decidedly Slack. Some people assert that if the Slack were taken out of the Awgwan it would be less Slack, but Slack says that if they Slacked on the Slack it would be slacker than ever. It is generally conceded that it is almost as funny as the Daily Nebraskan
    Barb. A peculiar form of animal which unfortunately makes up about eighty per cent of the student population. Scorned by all self respecting fraternity men not running for office. All are addicted to the abominable habits of studying more than is necessary to make twelve hours credit, working for a living, and of appearing on the campus without a frat pin perfectly unashamed. Their names are seldom allowed to appear in the society columns. Rarely appointed upon committees and then only for political reasons.

    Blue Print. A paper run to help deserving engineers through school. Office on the fourth floor. Fixtures: Lounge, to support Cameron after a prolonged period of sluffing, and several goboons for the preservation of old cuts. No smoking allowed.
    C. Complete. Credit on delivery. Two Cs Call on Dad.
    Forum. An educational propaganda conducted by the Commandant to increase recruiting of U. S. army.
    University Directory. A hand-book published annually by the Y. M. C. A. for the purpose of letting you know how many times your friend beats his board bill. Gives all professors a black name.
    Rest Room. A room fitted up as a lounging place for students while loafing between classes. Has not yet been built on the campus, but very kindly the school has been allowed to use the Saratoga, Baltimore, Nebraska, Dc Luxe, Senate, Windsor, and numerous others.
    Registration Week. The only time you need any one to tell you how to spend your money.
    Dean. An automatic stamper. Immediately upon hearing the word "sick", it makes two impressions of date, name and initial, and hands carbon copy to invalid.
    Dean, Executive. Stamper as above. Occasionally steps off and lands on somebodies foot. Father of card system. Infected with the system bug. Only person in fifty one states who can play a game of chess, eat dinner at the cafeteria, ride a bycicle (sic), call the Registrar's office, look over your absence record, carry on a kaffee klatsch with Dean Graham, give you advice as to University ideals and scratch the back of his head at one and the same time.
    Fraternity Pin. Sign board of more or less dimensions signifying that wearer is perfectly willing to spend father's money.
    Night Watchman. The nocturnal director of student activities. Always there when you're not looking.
    Fraternity House. Museum for the preservation of barber poles, wooden Indians, and bock beer signs. Kennel for bull dogs. Is not an aquarium, but there is always a bunch of suckers on the outside waiting to get in.
    Inter-frat Secretary. Person appointed by the fraternity men to see that Dean Engberg does his work right. Has gained considerable efficiency in wadeing the reports of grades out a day or two before usual time.
    Sorority. A place where innocent girls from Crosby's Corner are taught the gentle art of looking like New York on a Wahoo allowance. Hotbed of political "fussing". Chief reason for the existence of Formala, Proms, Florists, Cabbages, Dress Suits, and the Board of Delinquency.
    Co-ed. The thing that makes life worth living and University worth leaving, that takes the Vs from our pocket books and puts Cs on our record, makes us remember our dress and forget our address, causes us to cease frequenting pool halls and begin hanging around the Deans office. The stuff that sends our hearts to heaven at midnight and our records home at mid-semester.